you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize