Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
