Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
