Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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