Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
