I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
