it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
