Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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