id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
