Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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