if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
