As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize