Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
