just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
