I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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