i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
