Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
