I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
