I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
