it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
