I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
