I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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