He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Randomize
