its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
