Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
