To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize