We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
