4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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