Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
