i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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