Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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