This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize