Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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