It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
