areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
