This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
