I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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