I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
