then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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