so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
