so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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