I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
