He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
