im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
