Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
