Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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