Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
