hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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