I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Of course I have a pirate flag
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
