my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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