i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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