Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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