where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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