new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize