I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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