Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You are the jesus of drinking
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
