My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
