did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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