my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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