Don't make out with my wife yet
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
