my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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