I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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