I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
