oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
