I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
