i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
