Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
