I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
look no pants
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
