And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
