i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
