My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
